Retro Taco Was Neither Retro, Nor Tacos.

Y'ALL..... I'm back! Like you care, I know.
Oh, and before I start, shout out to the cutie, blonde bartender named 'Cricket'?. She was the best part of the whole experience. Now there's some foreshadowing for ya! LOL!
Maybe this restaurant has a lot to offer, unfortunately I wasn't the one to find it in the way of food. Ya win some, you lose some, 'amirite?
It was cool looking when I pulled up, and great when I walked in. I met a friend for Taco Tuesday and thought I would just try 100 things on the menu and really gorge myself after a long day at my new office gig. And, naturally since I like to keep my thighs soft & thick; I ordered a lot of food to try.
I started off with the street corn, fried pickle spears, retro wings and the carnitas taco with sauteed onions. Then, followed it up with the B&C burrito and a side of the mac & cheese, (Because let's face it, if mac & cheese is on the menu, i'm going to order it.) How can I put this nicely, and not say that I have had better food at a gas station? Was that too harsh? Please remember I have eaten at some really yummy gas stations, too bad this wasn't one of them.
So, firstly, all the food all came out cold, which is my #1 red flag for, "Your food was cooked and then sat around long enough to get cold". Ooof! Secondly, the wings were baked and definitely pre-frozen. BARF!!!!!! This should be illegal and someone needs to be smacked around for NOT putting that on the menu. How Rude! The carnitas taco had no flavor and was so soaking wet, it actually  soaked through BOTH of the corn tortillas, making the whole situation barely edible and extra messy- not in a good way. The street corn was by far the best tasting out of everything I ordered, but that was due to the fact that it had so much cayenne pepper sprinkled on the outside that I was excited for some kind of flavor, if you can even call it that. The B&C burrito was by far the most terrible burrito I have ever eaten in my life. I know, it's a bold statement, but I stand by it. The black beans were wet and cold and topped with cold shredded colby-jack  cheese and large chunks of uncooked white onion, on a cold, 3/4 wrapped tortilla shell. Please remember, I only speak the truth, and my undying love for raw white onion didn't have the ability to rectify the rest of the situation at hand. Now, the coups de grace.. the mac & cheese. Blue Box Kraft. Seriously. Cold, dry, and probably cooked yesterday. Needless to say, it was gross and sad and kinda ruined my undying fat kid love for Blue Box Kraft mac & cheese. My friend ordered the chips & queso, tostata, shrimp taco and moonshine bbq taco. No love could be reported on anything but the chips and queso.
That is all. RANT OVER!
Also, when my friend ordered a Modello to drink, they didn't even open it. UGH!!!
Save your time, gas money and taste buds. Taco Tuesday will resume at it's normally scheduled time next week, but certainly not back here.
Colleen's yummy food rating: 1/5
You're on your own if you try this place.

The Tomato Head Made Me Eat My Words

For years I have stood at a distance and glared at the Tomato Head. I've been sneering, judging and assuming things. Big things. I've told myself all the reasons why I would never want to eat there and why the people who do are crazy. The soy cheese option alone is enough to make me scream. Crunchy. Hippie. Organic...All words that send an epic shiver down my spine. All words that keep my guard up and apparently block delicious food from entering my mouth. 

Well, lo and behold the tables turned on me this past week when I found myself in Market Square with a non-meat eating friend. Although it wasn't our only option in the universe, it was however the no-brainier, so naturally- I bucked up, hunkered down and went for it. All I can say is I am a huge judgmental turd, because the food and the service was so good I'm already planning my next visit. "3 1/2 Years of Missing Out" is what I should have titled this entry. DAMMIT!!!! 

There was hustle and bustle, hummus and blue corn chips, ginger beer and iced teas to start. It was my ideal kick-off to a meal. Then, as if I wasn't humbled and astonished enough, every bite of the roast beef, gorgonzola and red onion sandwich was perfection. I ate every bite of it, and I NEVER finish a sandwich, out of principal, naturally. My friend Shana had a southwest salad with tofu and it actually looked GOOD. Yes, I said it. Ugh. Our waitress was adorable and kind and looked like M.I.A.. The food wasn't the fastest, but there was a ton of tables and people, so considering- the time frame was spot-on. Great prices and super tasty fare with all the trimmings. Kettle chips? OK!

Dammit Tomato Head, you made me eat my words, literally.

Colleen's yummy food rating: 4/5

Go there! 

http://thetomatohead.com

Shana Mofo Sugar.

Buttermilk Pie Shop: The Crust Stops Here

My favorite part about writing this blog is that I get to eat the most wonderful things in the name of creative research. It never gets old. Just when I think there's no hope for new wonderful tasty treats in this town, a gem like Buttermilk Sky opens up. And not just one location, but two. Sweet. (Get it?)

Truth be told, if you saw the size of my ass I know you wouldn't believe me when I told you I normally wouldn't pay much attention to a pie shop. We'll, it's true. And it's simply because I am a bonified pie crust hater from back in the day. My childhood consists of a catalog of dessert plates littered with burnt, dry, pasty, nasty tasting crusts expertly dissected from the slice of whatever pie the occasion presented. I'm not joking- I HATE pie crust. HATE IT. We'll, I thought I did, until now. 

Buttermilk sky has officially turned the tables on me, and I've been told (by my LOVING husband) that I am no longer allowed to spend any more money there for a few months, or until we can catch up on our mortgage payments. Seriously, I could empty mine, yours and 6 of our mutual companions' bank accounts in that joint. How you ask? Easy. Their crust is like that of a perfectly baked shortbread cookie! DID YOU HEAR ME??? A pie baked in the likes of a cookie crust! I'll wait while you compose yourself. The inginuitey of taking a variable like bad pie crust out of the equation altogether is what really gets me going about Buttermilk Sky. Especially since I feel like almost anyone can make a halfway decent pie these days. There's dozens of frozen crusts developed by magical corporate 'taste-scientists' to ensure your store-bought canned filling is paraded to the table with some shred of respect. But, this pie shop raised the bar on how to create an overall pie experience that starts with the crust and moves on to the filling then back to the crust then back to the filling then back to the crust then back to the filling- I'm dizzy. Hold on. My point is, for the first time EVER the pie crust is as heavenly as the fillings are, and I'm totally new to that. In fact, i'm still pretty sure i'm imagining that Buttermilk Sky even exists, but I just googled it and sure enough, it's real. 

Also, have you seen the I-40 pie? It' like a magic cookie bar in a pie. I have officially died and gone to fatty heaven..via fatty Highway I-40. The signature Southern Buttermilk is creamy, rich and not too sweet, unlike their cherry, apple, S'mores, coconut creme, Houndog, pecan and chocolate meringue which are all too rich and too sweet and too wonderful for a Yankee like me to put to words. Can someone please bless my heart? My Facebook stalking of them also tells me they now serve cinnamon buns on Friday & Saturday mornings, but I guess I'll have to wait until we have equity back in our house to try them. Scratch-made biscuits with chocolate gravy & homemade ice cream also adorn their menu. This place is killing it. 

(By th way, the picture of that cherry pie up there was my Valentine's Day present from my mother-in-law. Thx Linda!)

Go there! Now! RUN!!!! 

Colleen's yummy food rating: 5/5 (Actually 750/5)

Here's their website. 

TOMO's Cherry Blossom Roll: What Does It All Mean?

My non-extensive 2-click internet research concludes that in Japanese culture the cherry blossom represents fragility and the beauty of life. With that being said, i'll go ahead and promptly address my point early; I am now a firm believer TOMO's Cherry Blossom sushi roll does as well. Just hear me out. 

The roll transported me to a place far, far from here. Maybe it was a quiet crispy-aired garden complete with zen-like water sounds, or maybe even an ancient pagoda adorned with lotus flowers and water lilies... when in fact, it was actually just the 2-top table in a Bearden shopping plaza where my hubby and I sat on date night gazingly in love. Either way, I'm changed. Revived. And now, thanks to my own self-righteousness will after 2 years of not writing this blog, tell you why.

The notion that life is fragile and all things are beautiful and blah, blah, blah, blah...it all sounds like my last morning meditation mantra. But, the painfully adorably and ironic fact is, I already believe this notion. So, when the first bite of that roll hit my mouth, I finally, and for the first time through food, experienced this truth and beauty and ultimate fragility. Sound a little fishy? (Oh, a sushi joke?) Let me explain. 
There were so many subtle little flavors. There was the culmination of the mild and gentle yet vividly bright red tuna, the heat wave of spice from the special ponzu sauce, the salty mayo and the crisp freshness of the cucumber topper. But then, oh wait, just then, that's when the miracle happened. On top of each piece was a small wedge of lime. LIME?? Yes. A paper-thin slice caps each piece and subsequently turned out to be the one missing component of every bite of every meal I have ever taken. Looking back now, it was actually just the taste of conquering a fear... because in my mind the lime was about to ruin the entire taste experience of that bite. I had already decided it didn't belong there and therefore was about to ruin not only the bite, but the meal, the night and everything in between. How dramatic. Thankfully everything I've learned after years of succumbing to my own demons tells me not to stop before the miracle happens- and thankfully I didn't. And, it turns out that it was the game changer I had so desperately been searching for. The bitter, sour lime was neither bitter or sour or even a lime flavor at all anymore. It became something totally different. It brightened, supported, toned and enhanced every other flavor in the entire bite. The fragility of a god forsaken sushi roll became evident through flavor and therefore beautiful and ultimately meaningful. It was a whole new flavor- a flavor I could have never imagined and will never forget. It was the perfect metaphor. It's almost like they thought this shit through before naming it. It was thousands of years of knowledge on my plate, next to my chopsticks and low-sodium soy sauce. 

Long story short, my head exploded all over the back wall of the dojo and we left. 
Not really.
We pounded a variety of rolls and pieces as well as tempura sweet potato, asparagus & crab sticks. It all kept my head spinning and belly swooning. Our waitress was a peach, the perfectly-dim lighting kept my eyes comfortable for once and the check total didn't make us crap our pants. Near date night meal perfection by my standards.

It feels good to be back y'all. Anybody want to go get some lunch? I feel a tent revival coming on.

Colleen's yummy food rating 5/5.
Go there. 
http://www.tomoknoxville.com

Thai Me Up, Throw Me In Your Trunk And Drive Me Back To 'Taste of Thai'

Thai is one of those cuisines that cannot be substituted when I NEED IT. A masaman curry makes me feel warm and sensual inside, like i'm wearing a slinky satin robe of silky coconut sauce while stretching out onto a bed of fluffy, cloud-like starchy white rice. Was that too weird? I'm sure it was. Anyways...

Upon arrival, the interior of this place looked like something was going to be left to my imagination. In fact, the lack of decor actually sat me between a retail display of golden Buddha's, candle sticks and some old brown baby booster seats. Now, I have learned time and time again, that from the deepest depths of the darkest mud pits rises the most beautiful of Lotus flowers, and 'Taste of Thai' is no exception to this age old tale. (The decor is not for the foodie looking to find the serene, mellow Thai experience of waterfalls and trickling rock gardens, but more for the restaurant sleuth who wants to get their food fast, love it, finish it and lick their fingers and lips for the rest of the day while secretly planning their next trip back.) So, the inside kinda sucks. In the immortal words of Garfield, "Big. Fat. Hairy. Deal".

The food, on the other hand is definitely in the Top 3 of all Thai food I have ever had. I'm not sure if it's fair to say that over some Tom Yum (traditional lemongrass & mushroom soup), and a huge plate of #19... the masaman curry (meat sauteed with avocado, roasted cashews and broccoli in rich creamy coconut milk with masaman curry spice), but it's my story and i'm sticking to it. This food was incredible! It was all three  of my most favorite things in a Thai restaurant: 1. FRESH, 2. FAST, 3. SPICY, but not blowing my face off my head. I mean, I like a good amount spice, but I also like to be able to taste the elements of the dish, e.g., the individual flavors of the meat, the sauce, the veggies, and how they make a new completely different overall flavor, (I find it difficult for Thai restaurants to execute all three of these seemingly simply elements, and when just one of them is missing, it tends to really ruin a dish or an entire meal for me....especially the 'FRESH' element) but not to worry, this place gets it.
The hubby, being the tried and true kinda guy that he is, got the Pad Thai, (classic stir-fried thin rice noodles with meat, bean sprouts, egg and ground peanuts). It was also notably delicious. Heaping bowl of spicy noodles + quiet eating wife = happy hubby. Easy math.

The service was as short and sweet as any Thai place I have ever visited, making it a 22 1/2  min. in-and-out experience that will forever remind me of why I will turn my head 180 degrees to stare at it as long as possible every time we pass it, remembering my first bite, seventh bite, last bite and most of all, the warm, calm feeling we had walking out the door. Great prices, great service, amazing FRESH, fast Thai.

Colleen's yummy rating 5/5.

Find their menu here.

Northshore Brasserie: Qu'est ce que c'est, Mediocre.

I know it's been a pinch since my last blog, but I have actually been pretty mom-busy, and waiting to hit a killer date night spot so I could redeem myself, my blog, my family blood line, and the free-world as we know it....okay, maybe not redemption of that caliber, but close. I wanted this to be a good one; a meal squealed about that was a classy, expensive one...somehow hoping that this magical night out in cheap heels and a pencil skirt would get the writing gods to visit my hands. Thankfully, it worked.
Since the Northshore Brasserie has only been recommended to me, say, 900-1,400 times a day for the past year, (which totally makes sense-it's a pretty nice place for Knoxville, it's in a wealthy area of town, and it's modern-ish decor suggests that the food is going to really blow your face off your head) we thought we'd go ahead and give it a whirl. I don't know about anyone else, but when the purveyor is greeting patrons in a dirty golf shirt and jeans at the front door along with a 17 year old hostess, you get the feeling that the hook has been set, they are now just going to reel you in, fight you for a good hour or so, and then set you free back into the cruel world in which you came from. True story-Let's roll.
I ordered their Key Lime Pie martini, which it turned out that only certain members of the staff are trained to make, so about 15 minutes later I was offered to drink the incorrectly made one (for free, like that was a nice thing to do..back-handed compliment much?) and to pick another drink with the promise that it would be made really fast. Yikes! Not a deal breaker at this point because our adorable waiter Patrick was trying really hard to step it up and soak in the embarrassment that the bar had poorly shaken and not stirred. So, we went ahead, threw the dice and went for our appetizer: the steak tartar. Not too shabby is the nicest thing I can actually come up with to describe the flavor, but the chopped hamburger consistency was beyond gross. I mean, it wasn't like we weren't going to finish it, we just manned-up and got it down. I know what you're thinking....this is a slam piece. Well, you're wrong. This is where it takes a turn for the best! The charcuterie plate (which we asked to come out with our entrees and did not...but came out almost 20 minutes before) had grilled boar sausages that sent me to the moon. They were 100% to die for (unlike the rabbit pate', or terrine-mound, call it what you will...it looked and tasted worst than the best cat food i've ever ate), and then came our entrees, and we were beyond pleased. Provencal mussels and the roquefort burger were both prepared and presented in a manner that made us forget that we were about to sell the farm to cover the check, and we enjoyed every last bite of both. Gold star for the kitchen staff! So, feeling happy and lovvey at this point, we decided to wash it all down with an after dinner drink. Unfortunately for us when we each ordered a $10 Duvel, there was no clean Duvel glasses to come with the beer (again, which the employees felt free to tell us). Overall, it  just took away from the ability of this place to be a consistently great place, but a beer is a beer, especially when it's a Duvel, and my belly is chock full of mussels.
I'll admit it, The Northshore Brasserie has a lot of, qu'est ce que c'est: Balls? Or issues....either way, if i'm going to spend that kind of cheese, i'll naturally expect something a little more than mediocre.
Find their website here.
Colleen's yummy food rating: 3/5.

Plum Tree: Knoxville's Ancient Chinese Food Secret

When I look at a place like Plum Tree on Kingston Pike in Bearden, two very separate but distinct thoughts go through my mind. One is that I am about to re-visit the early to mid-80's and the amazing Asian decor that was lost in that decade, and/or I am going to get food poisoning, lose 25 lbs. and never have to wear fat jeans again. Both wrong, again. You would think that I would get better at the pre-judgement thing as I go try more restaurants, but nope. Not.Even.Close. I always assume the food is going to be run of the mill, greasy and salty, just how I like it, but I was in for a real surprise.
I implore you to consider the ability of Plum Tree, which is the size of a shoe box from Coffin Shoes to be able to masterfully prepare a 4-6 page menu of 17 categories (yes, I counted), then believe when I say that after being a real fat fatty and picking 6 items from all different categories, and tasting the 4 other items my husband picked, each dish was so delicious it could hang in the ranks of food I have had at high-end Asian places in several major cities. I mean, this was light and fresh, belly warming, mouth-watering, non-oil slick covered, 'I can actually taste all the items in this dish' Chinese food. I had no idea this happens in nature. This is where I suggest that absurd idea that, "Maybe this is why the place has been around so long".
Okay, okay...onto the selections that are making my mouth water just thinking about re-consumption. (Please do not judge me, I was mildly to moderately hungover and STARVING!)
I started with a warm soft, doughy and steamy pork bun that was as good as any I have had in SF's Chinatown. The next three things I inhaled was a blur of egg roll, fried 5 spice "ming" wings and TomYum soup. Then came the Panang Curry with tofu and  brown fried rice. I need to stop here and let you know this was by far, the hottest, creamiest, most flavorful Panang Curry I have ever ingested. I seriously love this shit and eat it all the time. It's NEVER ever going to be the same after Plum Tree's version. Okay, now that I got that out.....there was more. It was my husbands dinner, but I didn't care. It was the Mandarin Fried Rice and it had every meat and seafood known to man in it. By the look the hubby gave me when I asked for some of it, he felt the same way about it as I did. Actually, to quote my husband, "I bet this is what 'real' fried rice tastes like." So adorable.
Just go there! The food is going to blow your mind through the back of your head, and all over the wall, then leave you in a cozy sodium bliss. Plum Tree has it all figured out.! Must be 'ancient Chinese secret'. (No, i'm not talking about pee-pee in your Coke.)
Find them and their menu here.
You're welcome.
Colleen's yummy food rating: 450,000/5.

Rouxbarb's Royal Tasting

In honor of the Royal Wedding this week, it would only seems fit to write the most royal of my reviews yet: Rouxbarb. This little gem of an establishment caught my eye a few weeks back, and after a solid internet stalk I knew this would be my next target. We chose to go check it out for a 'date night' as us young classy 30-something parents do these days, and it proved to be not only the most deliciously prepared food I have had in oh, say about the last 31 years of my 31 year-old life, but hands down the most (how do I say this w/o swearing?) "*&%$#@*&^%-ing" greatest dining experience my sweet hubby and I have had to date.
When we arrived the seasonly-glammy hostess sat us and buttered us up correct, and got us going on our BYOB bottle of white we scooped on the way, and immediately had our waitress at our side. Ok, so there's waitresses, and there are PROFESSIONAL waitresses...now, this lady was goooood, and I mean good. She suggested the Chef's tasting, if we were interested, (like that was gonna get a 'no'), and then proceeded to send the Chef out to our table like he had nothing better to do but to meet us. At this moment I blacked-back-in and remembered what a REAL dining experience was like, ya know... when the Chef wants to meet the people he is gonna cook for, and maybe actually cares who's his patrons are. Anyways, it was a quick beg and plead for the last tasting of the night and POOF we were relocated to the bar for the food-feast that took eleven- hundred plates and what seemed like hours to consume. It was glorious, royal even. I felt like Kate Middleton in a cheap dress and expensive lip gloss.
Our first several plates were delicious Southern-fared concoctions like deep fried chicken livers with tomato jam and grits, pimento cheese beignets with hot pepper jelly and PEI muscles w/ Benton's bacon and the most eggy soft bread that helped me consume all that last drop of broth, because upon the Chef's recommendation, I picked the bowl up and drank the rest. No big deal. This is what i'm talking about, an establishment that can create such an intimate dining experience while not focusing on the white table cloths and pocket-book plumpness of it's patrons, but keep it a close face to face conversational meal.
Oh, did I mention they have their own BBQ smokehouse out back...no big deal. Ha!
Right, so then maybe the 7th or 8th plate we enjoyed was a warm grilled pineapple salad, then quail with dirty rice for our entree and then a dessert plate that was a serious slap across the face. There was like 7 different desserts on this platter, and yes I mean platter. It was the truly awesome ending that we could have never expected. Actually, the whole experience was so unexpected that we're still pinching ourselves making sure that it actually happened.
We finished our bottle of wine chatting it up with another couple across the bar, and the great staff who really made the whole time we spent there (it felt like it was 4 or 5 hours of mouth-watering 'open-mouth insert heaven' time) just perfect. It's not any wonder the Chef has as many kudos locally and nationally as the number of plates he fed us that night, the food was like nothing else Knoxville has going, and the experience was as good as it gets.
While everyone else is watching the CNN and MSNBC royal wedding coverage this weekend, i'll most likely be texting everyone I know trying to find someone to go back with me. Yes, its that's good.
Colleen's yummy food rating: 5/5
Check their website here.

Savelli's, "La famiglia è la patria del cuore!"

"Your family is the homeland of your heart," and, oh how true this is. When I found this little gem of a Italian spot, I was immediately taken back to the small Italian cafe, (La Tee Da) in New York I used to cook in. The family atmosphere, dim lighting, checkered tablecloths, maps of Italy on the paper place mats, garlic perfumed air and perfectly attentive wait staff made me feel so cozy and comfortable, like I was sitting down to a meal at a close friend's house. It also made me very emotional, as this week I got the worst news possible; the beautiful Italian woman who taught me to cook and ran that small Italian cafe passed away from the late stages of Cancer. So, this meal brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face, as I was completely revisited by the heart warming family-feel of such a wonderful little restaurant. 
By the smell in the air I knew the food couldn't be bad, or at least it was going to have enough garlic and onion in it to make it just my style. After hearing the huge list of specials our waitress (who was in a picture with her parents on the wall...awwww!) recommended the meatballs...which I LOVED, because I have never been recommended meatballs. And, they were perfect. Not too dense, not mealy, seasoned just right, and made the perfect addition for the cannelloni and antipasti plates my hubby and I demolished. I was also amazed at the huge menu this place has. I mean, probably the better side of 50 items... which for such a small space tells me that they know what they're doing. Truthfully, it was a tough call between the calzone and the cannelloni, but I stand by my decision. And, it was AWESOME! It tasted like a sweet old, chubby Italian grandma with huge glasses and a dress with an apron over it dished it up just for me. (I'm also imagining some hand-gestures of approval.)
Service note: Tons of food appeared in almost no time...i'm talking fast service, and there was probably at least 5 other tables of people. A+ from the peanut gallery on this one.
Back to the food. There was doughy, yeasty garlic knots, bowls of fresh simple homemade sauce (YES, I can tell when sauce is homemade...Just try me!), chopped flat leaf parsley, parmesan and fresh gooey mozzarella spread from one end of our table to the other. It was like a scene out of The Godfather... pure indulgence of the Italian type.
We also sat next to a large party of people who brought in their own bottles of wine and were gushing about how wonderful it is that there was no corking fee- Sounds like a plus to me! 
Oh, so after looking back at these pictures of my dish, I think they look kinda gross at first glance, but if you look REAL hard you can see that they are full of love and sauce and cheese and family. Just like a good Italian restaurant should be. 

I'd like to dedicate this entry to Mary Tomaselli, an amazing woman who took the time to show me how to truly appreciate Italian food, and it's simple beautiful ingredients. She will live forever in my heart, and my cooking.
Rest In Peace Mary, I love you.
Colleen's yummy food rating: 5/5.
No website (COOL!) but, here's how to find them.

Aubrey's Answers The Age Old Question: Who Say's You Can't Please All of The People All of The Time?

I understand simple concepts. Beer=good, bacon=life, and music heals all wounds. I also understand some things are just going to happen, like, when you move somewhere new that you will get recommended the same restaurants over and over again. This generally annoys and or frightens me, so i'll always try to make a note to get to the places the masses flock to, but it's never something that lives in the forefront of my mind. "I'll get there one day", that's what I usually say. Then there's places that end up hitting home, and make it very apparent why the name keeps coming up over and over again.
Aubrey's is where 'm going to have to back up to draw a line in the sand with my pinky toe and say, "Maybe this place should have it's own exit off 1-75, and, perhaps it should be a pre-requisite that you MUST stop and eat one of the nicest meals you will ever have at a restaurant, if you're driving through Knoxville, TN." Now, I'm not suggesting you should go sell your first born and hail the first cab to Aubrey's, but what I am saying is that there is no wonder this place is a local legend, and for insanely good reason. The food is prepared and cooked and presented so well, so comfortably (and in HUGE portions), that there should be no actual reason that any hungry, sane and non-pretentious person wouldn't go back again and again: And they do. The crowd seems so wonderfully warm and welcoming because apparently they have all been Aubrey's customers for the ups of 10+ years. For a restaurant to keep a repeat business of this magnitude for so long,  you know they must be doing something right, and, obviously in a town like this, it's a perfect combination of the tight-knit community, the warm family atmosphere and overall, the food. Btw, I stole this picture from their website, beacause this lady is exactly what I plan to look like when I'm older.

So, thankfully (for me), there is bread. I LOVE BREAD! It's an age old testament to "Welcome home, it's time to eat!" And this warm, crusty bread came with honey butter. Finally! Not a packet of margarine spread, (Shutterrrr.)
I've tried a bite of everything that comes on everyone's plate, from the mushrooms cooked in wine, to a perfectly grilled burger (Why is that so hard to find these days?) to the Lemon-Lime Chicken, Fried Chicken, salads, soups, etc... I could go on and on. And actually for one moment, I will. The Fish and Chips are slap-a-stranger good, and come with their award winning Fried Po's to boot. This is the real-deal meal for me. They're not greasy, not heavy, but light and crispy fish nuggets perfectly seasoned, adorned with heavenly tarter, and singing with lemons. I'm not going to get into the chips (The award winning-po's) because things win awards for reasons...So, i'll just move on now.
The best part of the experience was after I sat back and thought about it for a second, I realized that nothing about the place sucks! Something ALWAYS sucks at a restaurant, and yet..at Aubrey's I couldn't even find one meaningless little thing to complain about. I believe that for the first time a local restaurant has made it's mark on me. They have answered my age old question: Can they please all of the people all of the time? Yes, apparently they can. Anything you could want to eat they have. I was floored at the size of the menu (and wine-list), and the ability for everything to be of such high quality. It's like a sweet Southern mama sitting you down and telling you, "Everything is going to be okay, just pick anything you like, and we'll make it just perfect for ya." It just can't be beat.
Simple side notes include: The service is quick and friendly, the restaurant is an open, clean and fresh looking space, all major food details were there, and most importantly, after my gargantuan meal of Chicken, baked squash (which is by far more addictive than crack-cocaine) and perfectly steamed broccoli, I got a sack of old school animal crackers to cut the spice on the way out the door. This. is. Bliss.
Aubrey's, you've won my heart.
Check out their menu/site here.
Colleen's yummy food rating: 5/5.

Sweet P's vs. Man vs. Food vs. Me: The Great BBQ Debate That I Don't Belong In

I'm going to have to start this entry with an apology. It's not to Sweet P's, or Travel Channel, or even my increasingly cool in-laws for paying for my meal, but to the real BBQ junkies, flunkies and enthusiasts out there. I'm sorry I have no discerning tongue for this stuff. I can't tell you if the brisket has been smoked with applewood chips, maple planks, or cherry-wood chunks, and based on the flavor of the char, if the smoker was older than 1955. I do, however recognize that people who can do that are out there; and reading this may make them mad as hell. So for that, in addition to being a Yankee reviewing a BBQ place, (with a bullet) I'm sorry. Also, i'm not going to touch on the burrito challenge featured on the Travel Channel, because this picture of Sweet P's owner is way sweeter. PBR for life!

The more I talk about this place to other Knoxvilians, the more I get the same story: "I didn't even know it was there until I saw it on the Man vs. Food: Knoxville". And I, always answer with the same reply, "Me too, but i'm sure glad I found it." That's because Sweet P's had it all; the meat, the sides, the Southern Hospitality, and the water-side locale that lets hungry boaters go dockside for a meat-fest only beer, sunshine and coca-cola can conjure up. 

Naturally, after being south of the Mason-Dixon Line for the better part of 5 years, I have had my fair share of BBQ. I'm talking ribs, chicken, smoked wings, brisket, pulled everything, and sauces to be categorized as thick, thin, Carolina-style, Texas-style and my #1 favorite (in black marker on the side of the bottle: 'GOOD'. (It was!) Sweet P's had all the major players, including thick and thin sauces, and the better part of 10 sides to pick from. I went for the ribs (seriously, i'm NOT here to try your chicken,) and the mixed beans. A huge slab of ribs and 2 sections of my paper plate was now covered with steaming hot BBQ goodness, and grabbing my unsweet tea was all there was left to do before the carnage could ensue. The ribs were cooked PERFECTLY. Did you hear that? PERFECTLY! (Like, WOW!...These ribs actually couldn't be cooked ANY better). They were juicy and tender and had so much meat on them that my father in-law gave me 'the look' when I said "These ribs are really meaty!". Good for him, it was a stupid thing to say out loud. Now, as for the beans, they were just kinda there. They were hot, they were beany, but as for flavor... I took my husband's advice on beans at a BBQ place: "They're never over the top, just put some salt & pepper and sauce on them and they get GREAT!" So I did, and of course, they were. Yes, Sweet P's...this means I like your sauce. Alot.
I'm now taking a moment to interrupt this review with a quick side note. I am NOT 'Southern', therefore NOT qualified to make remarks about secret seasoning rubs, sauces, and injecting methods of cooking BBQ, and I know that. I will, however say that the flavor of the ribs was smokey, and meaty, but I'll have to leave it at that. The rub did not blow my mind out of the back of my head, but the quality of the ribs and the attention to how well they were cooked did. The flavor was most definitely there, but it left me begging for more. And, this is where the great BBQ debate begins, and I gracefully have to bow out. I have no business fighting in this ring, and my two cents hold no water. Thankfully, I have become acclimated enough to know that, and it makes me giggle every time I say it. With that, I will say that Sweet P's was a great meal, and probably does the best BBQ I have had since moving to Knoxville. There are some other key players in town, but as Dolly Parton says in 'Steel Magnolias, "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit next to me", so those places will be discussed at a later date. This review now holds a very special place in my heart, as I have laid all my true Yankee cards on the table. Sweet P's is a flavor debate that I could not win. Actually, I had no business trying in the first place. 

I'll be back to Sweet P's though! Hopefully, it'll be on a boat, and hopefully with some people who want to let me know that I know absolutely nothing about BBQ.
Check out their menus/site here.

Colleen yummy food rating= 4.5/5.

Sitar's Far East Production On The West Side Of Town

I was pretty skeptical pulling up to Sitar because the mere thought of good Indian food in Knoxville just wasn't adding up in my head. After all, I used to live next to a  giant Indian mecca right outside Atlanta, so this meal was either going to really really great, or really forgetable. Thankfully, I made it out of my car, past the front door and into a chair, because this meal played out perfectly; like one of those cool dance scenes in a 60's Bollywood movie.

It kinda went like this: BOOM! The music started <enter wait staff stage right>, then the spot light hits me <enter drink order here>, then a plate of mixed Tandori treats arrives <start heavy drooling..NOW!>, and Scene. A Blockbuster Overseas.
I couldn't even pretend. I was right in the thick of it, my eyes were swirling. I was overwhelmed with exotic Indian mouth-flavor delights. I was only an appetizer and an ice water in, and I was sold- this food was amazing! Unfortunately, I quickly found myself in no mood to try to decide what entree to get, I was completely focused on how good my mouth tasted. But, thankfully my hubby (Best supporting actor in this role) made a quick suggestion of trying a vegetarian, chicken and a chef speciality. Good call hubby, good call. Now, I'm not going to pretend I didn't order the Chicken Tikka Masala. I always order it. Anywhere I go, I order it. I love to taste different interpretations of it, because it's ALWAYS good. And Sitar's was some of the best I'd ever had. It was spicy and creamy and as dreamy as ever: the rice was perfectly spiced to boot, and there was plenty of it. Now, the vegetarian dish (Allo Gohbi: Curried Cauliflower and po's) was actually my second favorite of the three. I'll start this by saying, it's hard for me to enjoy cauliflower out of my house- it's never cooked right, it always a little well, 'farty' to me. Not this though. It was sweet and soft and melted perfectly into the electric yellow/green curry sauce. Crisis Averted.
The Chef Speciality dish (Chicken Karahai : A special gravy with onions, tomatoes and bell pepper; tossed in Indian iron skillet) was the by far the winner of the Indian Cuisine trilogy that was last Thursday night's dinner. In all honesty,it was the most delicious and flavorful silver boat of Indian fare that I have ever eaten. Each spice was subtle enough to not over power the next, but was also so gleamingly apparent that my mouth felt like the Bollywood dance scenes were starting to happen each time I took another bite. It never got old.
There is no doubt that this restaurant experience carried me well beyond it's East Tennessee location. The service was perfect (Either the manager or owner came over to talk with us for a few minutes and thanked us for coming in-totally nice!), and the prices were right on point for portion size and quality. Go eat there already. I'm getting hungry just reliving this.
Check out their menu/site here.
Colleen yummy food rating 5/5.

Hard Knox Pizza's Sunday Punch To My Pie Hole

I'm going to start off by saying that this pizza is by far the best thing going in Knoxville. Since I am after all from NY, therefore a self-proclaimed pizza authority, I'd know! Ha, take that Urbanspooners and Yelpies. I mean, face it. Most pizza in the South has either a Papa John's box around it, or is served on a cracker crust full of antipasto toppings, and will cost you $12.95. No thanks...so lame.
But, thankfully Hard Knox Pizza takes the title belt in the local pizza ring by using the most simple, freshest ingredients that are cooked and treated properly. They do NOT artfully arrange them on the pie, but actually arranged them by how they would cook best, and therefore taste good, and nice and not like everything else on the pie. Maybe we need an example.. Let's break this down:
I got the Iron Mike (Coolest named pie on the menu- only reason I got it), check this baby out: Fresh Mozz, Baby Spinach, Caramelized Garlic, Shaved Parm Reggiano, and EVoo.

You're gonna wanna notice the garlic on top of the cheese, so it gets a little char, and tastes like garlic heaven in your mouth hole. Then the shaved parm, then spinach, then the mozz.... this made the most amazing little light sauce on the pie since the spinach leaked some veggie water through the cheese.
Yes, that is a PBR can in the near background.
The big, bubbly, chewy, light as air crust with a nice outter crispiness was perfectly thin, but held up great to the toppings.
Great taste, great crust, great construction: TKO.

Now, my hubby got the Carnera... because I think he may have a pepper addiction, but overall he said his was top notch, and I could tell he wasn't lying, b/c he ate his whole pie to my 3 slices.
Here's his Sweet Crust shot. I tasted only the sauce on his, and it was  light, fresh and simple. Maybe a little San Marzano tomato, fresh basil and magic sauce love?...or at least that's what it tasted like. I have no idea.

The space was cool, and simple and the guys behind the counter were your average pizza slingers, but had a professional air about them. I actually appreciated it. Decent prices for the pies, considering they tasted like pizza heaven, and didn't give me or Brian a Cauliflower Ear.

Check out their menus/site here.
Colleen yummy food rating 5/5.

Ole'? Try, Just Okay. Soccer Taco Missed The Goal For Me

I'll usually push between 5 and 7 people out of my way to get to an authentic Mexican menu, and generally take pride in this character flaw of mine, but Soccer Taco on Bearden Hill, was the first time I wish I would have stopped, looked over to the sideline at the signs the coaches were throwing at me, and then ran off the pitch.
I'm not going to slam the joint, I don't think that's the right thing to do to a local restaurant, but I will say that the fryer grease covered parking lot and large-box rat traps should have given me a clue as to the meal that was to follow.
Truth be told, I think the language barrier actually turned out to be my favorite part of the whole experience- it left room for interpretation, laughter and the mutual agreement that extra sauce on the side doesn't mean 'Please bring my chicken wings dry, with a HUGE bowl of Tabasco sauce on a separate plate", and "I'll have the mushroom and cheese tacos" means 1 just mushroom and 1 just cheese taco. OOOooof.
I'm going to invite your comments on this one.. only because I really wanted to like the place. Actually I wanted to really like food, but unfortunately that didn't happen either. Perhaps the Market Square locale has something more to offer...  Your thoughts on this one?

And On The 7th Day God Rested. Then I'm Pretty Sure He Went to Denton's...

I'm not known for being a religious person, but spiritual I am...and let me tell you, the orange drink (Orange Julius) and the chicken philly from Denton's drive-thru on Kingston Pike made me see visions I have not seen in a long long time. This took me right back to the first time I combined a saurkraut covered hot dog and a papaya shake at Papaya King in NYC. There's something about the hot gooey, cheesy, onion and mushroom covered griddled chicken and the cool, smooth, creamy throwback to our youth that is the "Orange Julius" that goes so incredibly well together, it may need to be added to scripture in some way, shape or form.
Now, I usually wouldn't go for a chicken philly (like that's so wrong or something) and i've had philly's here and there and everywhere, and know how I like them, and how I don't. So, I went for it... I bucked up and tried the lighter side of life. Well worth it! Totally fresh and extra tasty. There wasn't any trace of fast food flavor to this sandwich. This was not a philly to be messed with. And the drink.. well, what can you say about perfection? (Except that it came in a giant styrofoam cup, I kinda hated that). I'm sure next time i'll bring my own cup, and beg them to fill it. Poof! Crisis averted.
The menu looked like a grease lovers dream to boot. Corn dogs, freedom fries, onion rings, sweet potato fries, chili cheese dogs, burgers and hot doggers... what's not to love people? This is an establishment for the ages. A true vision. Amen.
Check out their menu/site here.
Colleen yummy food rating= 4/5.

LaCosta On Market Square: Brunch That Saved My Life. Well, Kinda.

This place was top notch. A- #1. Visually, a cool space with killer service. Not to mention, the detailed presentation of every aspect of the meal. (What a difference it makes to get a really cool looking cup of coffee, or dish of ketchup, or even the adorable teeny tiny salt and pepper shakers- not that the food even needed it, it was all seasoned PERFECTLY!). Every single thing brought to us came on cool beautiful dishes and was artfully laid out. This made my eyes as happy as my belly. Yes, I'll admit it. I was HUNGOVER. Badly in fact...and, knowing it could have gone 1 of 2 ways, thankfully it was a lifesaver. I was blown away by my Chimmichurri Scrambled Eggs (cheddar cheese, pico de gallo, sliced tomato and your choice of roasted yukon potatoes or cheddar-cheese grits), and my hubby was drooling and lip smacking over his Flat Iron Steak Benedict (chorizo, sauteed spinach, buttermilk biscuits and Benton’s bacon gravy). We gazed at the art on the walls, enjoyed a Metropulse, and LOVED our brunch. By the looks of the Lunch and Dinner menus: we'll definitely be back.

Check out their menus/site here.
Colleen yummy food rating= 4.5/5.